Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
