sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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