Only a mothe r could love this liver
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
