he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
