just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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