the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
