I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
