it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
