its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Let's get the cat blown out
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
