Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
