you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
