It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
