I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
