Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
