Don't you send me to vm
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
