How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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