I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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