we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
