TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Everything about him screamed your future.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
