how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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