Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
