I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
