We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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