peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
