The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
