We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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