Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
