You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
