i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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