$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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