is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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