i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
