Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
