try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
now i know why i became what i already was.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
