My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
