Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
