No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
