She is in my trunk
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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