Dual....:-)
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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