just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
