i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I love having hate sex.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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