Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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