when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
