If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize