My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
