VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
