I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
