It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize