This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
