All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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