This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
